Sta.sh
The gluttony of Augustus Gloop -
Isn't at all hard to figure
When you look at the figure
Of his mother.
She was a piggy too
Who probably ate her weight
In rich fatty foods.
And the physics behind the boy's
Less than skinny dipping
Are a cinch to pinch.
He was so round
He rolled and found
His very own vision
Of the fabled money river.
While poor little Charlie Bucket
Had not a bucket
To fill to his contentment.
(or take a golden piss in)
Only a golden ticket.
There was Violet who turned violet
Before her father,
Who turned scarlet
And maybe would've turned violent
If not for all his embarrassment.
The girl chewed and she talked,
She chewed and she talked,
She chewed and she ballooned
Till she very nearly popped.
And poor little Charlie Bucket
Still had not a bucket,
To fill to his contentment.
(or take a golden piss in)
Only a golden ticket.
Selfish snotty Vuruka Salt
Who wanted it all
And wanted it now.
Ruled her rich daddy's roost
She wanted that hen
So she hen-pecked him -
So rotten and spoiled
She was so entitled
To a bad eggs end, of frying
While poor little Charlie Bucket
As ever without a bucket
To fill to his contentment.
(or take a golden piss in)
Had only a golden ticket.
Sloth-like and star-struck Mike TeeVee
Wanted to be on the big screen
To be seen, to be seen
Even if he had to shrink and shrink
And his spectator
Of a mother
Had to squint and squint
If she ever hoped to see him be
On that big, big, screen.
Oh poor little Charlie Bucket
Still had not a bucket
To fill to his contentment.
(or take a golden piss in)
But he did have his golden ticket.
So Grandpa Joe could go
Dancing on beds
And filling his head -
With drinks for fizzy lifting.
Burping and falling.
Burping and falling.
Saved the poor Bucket's
From a fatal fizzy folly
All because Willy Wonka was a
Wonderful one for whims and whimsy
And Oompa Loompa's needed to sing songs -
Of such moral import
(or maybe it was the only sport
that made them feel -
less strange, orange, and short)
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